c
r
a
Z
Y
Ever wondered what goes on in her mind?
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
★ profile★
ramblings of a teenage girl
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"You're crazy!"
"I know!"
It has been a day of second best, good for nothing, second best.
I failed 3 tests!!!
By fail I mean I did not achieve the highest mark, because that is a fail to me.
The second best mark in Maths is not good enough for me. And what's worse, is I only made a minor calculation error in THE WHOLE TEST!!! I HATE THIS!!!
People always say to me,
"How are you so good at everything?"
"How do you cope?"
"I wish I was like you."
Well you know what? I am absolutely CRAP at most things I do, my mother labels me as 'Jack of all trades, Master of none', because that's what I am! I do everything, and yet I am good at nothing.
I don't cope, and if I did till now, I have no idea how I did it, and I believe I am at the point of developing mental illness.
And for the record, you should never wish to be me, I am not a person you should idolise. I am a terrible person. You should never trust me. I am not worthy. I am violent. I have multiple personalities. I am too up myself. I don't believe in myself. I don't know who I am. I have no purpose in life. I am blessed but I am wasting everything away. I can't relate to people. I am either hypersensitive or completely oblivious to the situation. I take racism way to personally. I am mildy schizophrenic.
I don't know where all that came from.
Hmmm, I think I need some chocolate.
"I know!"
★ And I failed. ★
Friday, July 8, 2011 ( 1:25 PM )
It has been a day of second best, good for nothing, second best.
I failed 3 tests!!!
By fail I mean I did not achieve the highest mark, because that is a fail to me.
The second best mark in Maths is not good enough for me. And what's worse, is I only made a minor calculation error in THE WHOLE TEST!!! I HATE THIS!!!
People always say to me,
"How are you so good at everything?"
"How do you cope?"
"I wish I was like you."
Well you know what? I am absolutely CRAP at most things I do, my mother labels me as 'Jack of all trades, Master of none', because that's what I am! I do everything, and yet I am good at nothing.
I don't cope, and if I did till now, I have no idea how I did it, and I believe I am at the point of developing mental illness.
And for the record, you should never wish to be me, I am not a person you should idolise. I am a terrible person. You should never trust me. I am not worthy. I am violent. I have multiple personalities. I am too up myself. I don't believe in myself. I don't know who I am. I have no purpose in life. I am blessed but I am wasting everything away. I can't relate to people. I am either hypersensitive or completely oblivious to the situation. I take racism way to personally. I am mildy schizophrenic.
I don't know where all that came from.
Hmmm, I think I need some chocolate.
We all have times where we say stuff we didn't really mean
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I just have more of these times than the average person!
★ tagboard ★
i think they call it freedom of speech
If I dwelled on the fact weirdness was a bad thing
I'd probably be dead by now.
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
designer DancingSheep
I'd probably be dead by now.
★ links ★
ctrl + left click
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
★ archives ★
watch me waste my life away
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
★ credits ★
designer DancingSheep
My life's goal
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SHOUTOUTS ★
even if I don't say ♥ that often
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★