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Ever wondered what goes on in her mind?
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
★ profile★
ramblings of a teenage girl
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"You're crazy!"
"I know!"
You know when the people come to your school, and warn you about the dangers of random stuff like drugs, smoking, intercourse, eating disorders etc. and people in your class either cringe and say they're never going to do it and/or switch off because they don't care?
Well I did that, with the drugs people, and the safe sex people, and the smoking people, and there were all these things that I frowned upon and I never thought I'd do...but curiosity killed the cat.
I thought it was just going to be once.
To take it away.
Just for the thrill.
Just for fun.
And Now I Can't Stop.
And I wrote a song about why, so if I've rolled up my sleeve by accident lately around you, please, if your eyes have been the tainted with the sight of my scars, please.
Read this.
And please pretend,
that nothing is happening.
I am constantly underestimating the tackiness in not going for help, or telling people, and you need to read this sentence over and over until you see what I do.
Here's the song...
Don't ask me again if I'm alright,
Whatever you see, whatever you think is fine.
Don't want to have to ruin your world of perfect lies,
to etch another line out of sight.
Please just ignore all my pain,
you've nothing to lose and I've nothing to gain.
It won't even matter to the end of the day,
til the devil within me is slain.
Oh! But I'm only human,
And that I blame for everything, and what I am within,
Oh! For my own existence,
And what I do, and what I am if anything.
We are flawed, we make mistakes,
our need to know is too great.
But don't get me wrong
I could still be so much more.
Just know that it isn't you to blame,
Whatever you ask I still can't explain,
And I can't tell you why I fell like standing in the rain,
when the sun is there shining ahead.
Oh! But I'm only human,
And that I blame for everything, and what I am within,
Oh! For my own existence,
And what I do, and what I am if anything.
We are flawed, we make mistakes,
our need to know is too great.
But don't get me wrong
I could still be so much more
And that's all so far...
"I know!"
★ Out of Control. ★
Saturday, July 9, 2011 ( 4:40 PM )
You know when the people come to your school, and warn you about the dangers of random stuff like drugs, smoking, intercourse, eating disorders etc. and people in your class either cringe and say they're never going to do it and/or switch off because they don't care?
Well I did that, with the drugs people, and the safe sex people, and the smoking people, and there were all these things that I frowned upon and I never thought I'd do...but curiosity killed the cat.
I thought it was just going to be once.
To take it away.
Just for the thrill.
Just for fun.
And Now I Can't Stop.
And I wrote a song about why, so if I've rolled up my sleeve by accident lately around you, please, if your eyes have been the tainted with the sight of my scars, please.
Read this.
And please pretend,
that nothing is happening.
I am constantly underestimating the tackiness in not going for help, or telling people, and you need to read this sentence over and over until you see what I do.
Here's the song...
Don't ask me again if I'm alright,
Whatever you see, whatever you think is fine.
Don't want to have to ruin your world of perfect lies,
to etch another line out of sight.
Please just ignore all my pain,
you've nothing to lose and I've nothing to gain.
It won't even matter to the end of the day,
til the devil within me is slain.
Oh! But I'm only human,
And that I blame for everything, and what I am within,
Oh! For my own existence,
And what I do, and what I am if anything.
We are flawed, we make mistakes,
our need to know is too great.
But don't get me wrong
I could still be so much more.
Just know that it isn't you to blame,
Whatever you ask I still can't explain,
And I can't tell you why I fell like standing in the rain,
when the sun is there shining ahead.
Oh! But I'm only human,
And that I blame for everything, and what I am within,
Oh! For my own existence,
And what I do, and what I am if anything.
We are flawed, we make mistakes,
our need to know is too great.
But don't get me wrong
I could still be so much more
And that's all so far...
We all have times where we say stuff we didn't really mean
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I just have more of these times than the average person!
★ tagboard ★
i think they call it freedom of speech
If I dwelled on the fact weirdness was a bad thing
I'd probably be dead by now.
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
designer DancingSheep
I'd probably be dead by now.
★ links ★
ctrl + left click
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
★ archives ★
watch me waste my life away
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
★ credits ★
designer DancingSheep
My life's goal
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SHOUTOUTS ★
even if I don't say ♥ that often
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★