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Ever wondered what goes on in her mind?
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
★ profile★
ramblings of a teenage girl
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"You're crazy!"
"I know!"
I have given up my goodie good status, if I ever had one in the first place. It's no fun being smart, you're have pressure to know everything, and people just can't get over it if you happen to not know something. If I were good at everything, I'd be perfect. Perfect life, perfect family, no troubles at all. And as much as I wish I didn't have to worry so much about unnecessary trivia, it'd be boring to have nothing more to gain. I totally wouldn't be me without my funny panic attacks.
Sometimes I have to wonder, what happened to me? I used to have so much promise, so much potential. Keeping up the good 'ol asian reputation. I was the little girl who was all smiles and all talent. Seriously? That's ridiculous if you compare it to the old slub I have become now. My brain cells all died and crashed in the latest sugar overload attempt. I'm fat, I'm stupid, and no where near the over achiever I used to be known as. I suppose I never was an over achiever, the people around me just didn't try as hard, and so I got all the attention.
I still get lost in thought, too often haha. Apparently people like me think in a 'tree like structure' and that's why and how we get completely off track, because one thing just leads to another and so on. I have laughed to myself about 15 times so far today. This is insane. I don't even know why I'm laughing. I do all sorts of random stuff when I'm thinking, it's easy for me to become detached from this world, I probably find it easier to stay out of this world than in. People stare at me, but that's okay. It'd probably be even more queer if they didn't stare at the crazy person.
Yes, yes, stare all you want.
Be a human, be flawed.
(Has anyone noticed that I'm rhyming all my ending lines?! This is awesome!!! And this little sentence in brackets doesn't count!)
"I know!"
★ Be a Rebel. it makes life more interesting. ★
Thursday, August 4, 2011 ( 9:55 PM )
I have given up my goodie good status, if I ever had one in the first place. It's no fun being smart, you're have pressure to know everything, and people just can't get over it if you happen to not know something. If I were good at everything, I'd be perfect. Perfect life, perfect family, no troubles at all. And as much as I wish I didn't have to worry so much about unnecessary trivia, it'd be boring to have nothing more to gain. I totally wouldn't be me without my funny panic attacks.
Sometimes I have to wonder, what happened to me? I used to have so much promise, so much potential. Keeping up the good 'ol asian reputation. I was the little girl who was all smiles and all talent. Seriously? That's ridiculous if you compare it to the old slub I have become now. My brain cells all died and crashed in the latest sugar overload attempt. I'm fat, I'm stupid, and no where near the over achiever I used to be known as. I suppose I never was an over achiever, the people around me just didn't try as hard, and so I got all the attention.
I still get lost in thought, too often haha. Apparently people like me think in a 'tree like structure' and that's why and how we get completely off track, because one thing just leads to another and so on. I have laughed to myself about 15 times so far today. This is insane. I don't even know why I'm laughing. I do all sorts of random stuff when I'm thinking, it's easy for me to become detached from this world, I probably find it easier to stay out of this world than in. People stare at me, but that's okay. It'd probably be even more queer if they didn't stare at the crazy person.
Yes, yes, stare all you want.
Be a human, be flawed.
(Has anyone noticed that I'm rhyming all my ending lines?! This is awesome!!! And this little sentence in brackets doesn't count!)
We all have times where we say stuff we didn't really mean
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I just have more of these times than the average person!
★ tagboard ★
i think they call it freedom of speech
If I dwelled on the fact weirdness was a bad thing
I'd probably be dead by now.
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
designer DancingSheep
I'd probably be dead by now.
★ links ★
ctrl + left click
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
★ archives ★
watch me waste my life away
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
★ credits ★
designer DancingSheep
My life's goal
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SHOUTOUTS ★
even if I don't say ♥ that often
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★