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Ever wondered what goes on in her mind?
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
★ profile★
ramblings of a teenage girl
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"You're crazy!"
"I know!"
I'm busying myself on little things. I'm actually doing my homework, I'm reading, I'm not spending unnecessary time on the internet (blogging is NOT wasting time!), I just did the dishes, but it's not some sort of sudden personality change, and I'm not trying to get my parents to buy me something new and flash, for some strange reason, I'm doing it for my own sake.
Not to benefit from everything, I'm trying to distract myself. I'm an active relaxer, which must be why when I do nothing I feel more depressed. Things I can do absent mindedly whilst thinking at the same time; like dishes are good for me convincing myself that I'll do something else later; like practise that piano accompaniment I really need to work on, even if don't do it in the end. The psychological thing keeps me going. Other things like Romeo and Juliet help me blank out completely, and it makes me feel as if I've done something productive. There's a nagging part of my conscience that is telling me I have to do some good deeds to erase all the crap I've just laid in front of me.
I'm listenin to ABBA for God's sake. It's like a hippie soul cleansing thing?!
At least I haven't started meditating or anything.
I feel so weird. And yet there's new self determination, from where? I don't know. But there's a spark. And I going to burn out? Am I going to burn at all?
Why? Why now?
All I know, is that I'm blocking out something dreadful. That's why I feel so queasy all the time. That's why I'm desperately trying to blank it out, trying to distract myself...the only problem is, I don't know what my mind is hiding from me. I don't know why, or how, or when, or whatever but the nagging feeling is there. It creeps me out. I don't know my own mind?!
creeeeeeeeepy...
"I know!"
★ Distractions. ★
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 ( 9:16 PM )
I'm busying myself on little things. I'm actually doing my homework, I'm reading, I'm not spending unnecessary time on the internet (blogging is NOT wasting time!), I just did the dishes, but it's not some sort of sudden personality change, and I'm not trying to get my parents to buy me something new and flash, for some strange reason, I'm doing it for my own sake.
Not to benefit from everything, I'm trying to distract myself. I'm an active relaxer, which must be why when I do nothing I feel more depressed. Things I can do absent mindedly whilst thinking at the same time; like dishes are good for me convincing myself that I'll do something else later; like practise that piano accompaniment I really need to work on, even if don't do it in the end. The psychological thing keeps me going. Other things like Romeo and Juliet help me blank out completely, and it makes me feel as if I've done something productive. There's a nagging part of my conscience that is telling me I have to do some good deeds to erase all the crap I've just laid in front of me.
I'm listenin to ABBA for God's sake. It's like a hippie soul cleansing thing?!
At least I haven't started meditating or anything.
I feel so weird. And yet there's new self determination, from where? I don't know. But there's a spark. And I going to burn out? Am I going to burn at all?
Why? Why now?
All I know, is that I'm blocking out something dreadful. That's why I feel so queasy all the time. That's why I'm desperately trying to blank it out, trying to distract myself...the only problem is, I don't know what my mind is hiding from me. I don't know why, or how, or when, or whatever but the nagging feeling is there. It creeps me out. I don't know my own mind?!
creeeeeeeeepy...
We all have times where we say stuff we didn't really mean
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I just have more of these times than the average person!
★ tagboard ★
i think they call it freedom of speech
If I dwelled on the fact weirdness was a bad thing
I'd probably be dead by now.
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
designer DancingSheep
I'd probably be dead by now.
★ links ★
ctrl + left click
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
★ archives ★
watch me waste my life away
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
★ credits ★
designer DancingSheep
My life's goal
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SHOUTOUTS ★
even if I don't say ♥ that often
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★