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Ever wondered what goes on in her mind?
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
★ profile★
ramblings of a teenage girl
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"You're crazy!"
"I know!"
I'm too scared of what other people think of me. But here I am, a hypocrite because I judge and mock other people harshly myself, so I guess in that sense I'm scared that what comes around goes around.
All humans judge, right? It's an instinct. Whether that guy over there looks like he's worthy of carrying a knife and running towards you at full sped and plunging it into your chest (okay, maybe that was too vivid a description, but understand that I have been having nightmares...THIS IS WHY I DON'T READ FICTION BOOKS OLIVIA!) We have to judge whether that person over there would make a suitable partner (although I wouldn't know anything about that), we have to judge the situation to figure out how to react. So everyone judges, and I suppose judging is okay in that sense, but it's how you look at it, keeping an open mind and such.
I'm so scared of other people's opinions I have to calm myself by trying to predict what the other person is going to say/think and it doesn't help when I don't know what's going to happen, 'cos then I just end up hyperventilating. That is probably another reason why I have such low self worth (wait, actually change that to NON EXISTENT self confidence...hey that rhymes!)
It just so happens that the ultimate thing that happens when we die, is judgement, by God the great one apparently. So is that what our lives are supposed to lead to? The ultimate judging? (Again, from the fiction book I was reading).
Obviously, my reading habits are not encouraging my sickness ravaged mind to think coherently, so I think I'll stop there. I have too much to say, and I can't organise it properly, so I'll try again tomorrow.
Stay tuned!
"I know!"
★ Judgement. ★
Monday, August 1, 2011 ( 5:56 PM )
I'm too scared of what other people think of me. But here I am, a hypocrite because I judge and mock other people harshly myself, so I guess in that sense I'm scared that what comes around goes around.
All humans judge, right? It's an instinct. Whether that guy over there looks like he's worthy of carrying a knife and running towards you at full sped and plunging it into your chest (okay, maybe that was too vivid a description, but understand that I have been having nightmares...THIS IS WHY I DON'T READ FICTION BOOKS OLIVIA!) We have to judge whether that person over there would make a suitable partner (although I wouldn't know anything about that), we have to judge the situation to figure out how to react. So everyone judges, and I suppose judging is okay in that sense, but it's how you look at it, keeping an open mind and such.
I'm so scared of other people's opinions I have to calm myself by trying to predict what the other person is going to say/think and it doesn't help when I don't know what's going to happen, 'cos then I just end up hyperventilating. That is probably another reason why I have such low self worth (wait, actually change that to NON EXISTENT self confidence...hey that rhymes!)
It just so happens that the ultimate thing that happens when we die, is judgement, by God the great one apparently. So is that what our lives are supposed to lead to? The ultimate judging? (Again, from the fiction book I was reading).
Obviously, my reading habits are not encouraging my sickness ravaged mind to think coherently, so I think I'll stop there. I have too much to say, and I can't organise it properly, so I'll try again tomorrow.
Stay tuned!
We all have times where we say stuff we didn't really mean
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I just have more of these times than the average person!
★ tagboard ★
i think they call it freedom of speech
If I dwelled on the fact weirdness was a bad thing
I'd probably be dead by now.
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
designer DancingSheep
I'd probably be dead by now.
★ links ★
ctrl + left click
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
★ archives ★
watch me waste my life away
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
★ credits ★
designer DancingSheep
My life's goal
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SHOUTOUTS ★
even if I don't say ♥ that often
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★