c
r
a
Z
Y
Ever wondered what goes on in her mind?
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
★ profile★
ramblings of a teenage girl
My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"You're crazy!"
"I know!"
I think we all have days when time flies and then we have days when we can't stop looking at the clock. Sometimes the numbers just don't fit.
Time is supposed to heal. Everything. Time doesn't exist in my mind, so how can it heal? How can it erase the past? I think when I remember things, it's in snapshots or 'shorts'. Not necessarily in the right order, but it's still clear as day. I get the time mucked up. Sometimes I pretend to forget stuff, play dumb to avoid having to dig up the past. It sucks. I don't feel good about it, but those are my mind's natural defences.
Time, right now, is going as slow as ever. I've nothing to do. I'm supposed to rest because my foot is stuffed up. Rest?! What does that even mean? I am going to get so hyperactive in this next week, or maybe really depressed. Lets see where the scales tip.
Too much spare time is something that does not benefit me. I think, far too much already with little spare time, so with an extra 20 hours or so on my hands (16 hours training+transport time getting there and back, I can count!) I'm think I'm going to write, I might start writing a novel. (thanks to all the authors who came to visit Epsom Girls' Grammar School for the inspiration!)
Time management, is also a skill which I don't have. I get homework with deadlines set 4 weeks later, but I'll still be working the night before. It's bad. But the random stress benefits me in a way, I still manage to churn up reasonably good projects, reasonably...okay so they're crap. I could do so much better if I'd planned out everything in advanced, if I were organised.
I don't know.
I just gotta hope time is on my side.
"I know!"
★ Time and it's unpredictable ways. ★
Friday, August 12, 2011 ( 9:31 PM )
I think we all have days when time flies and then we have days when we can't stop looking at the clock. Sometimes the numbers just don't fit.
Time is supposed to heal. Everything. Time doesn't exist in my mind, so how can it heal? How can it erase the past? I think when I remember things, it's in snapshots or 'shorts'. Not necessarily in the right order, but it's still clear as day. I get the time mucked up. Sometimes I pretend to forget stuff, play dumb to avoid having to dig up the past. It sucks. I don't feel good about it, but those are my mind's natural defences.
Time, right now, is going as slow as ever. I've nothing to do. I'm supposed to rest because my foot is stuffed up. Rest?! What does that even mean? I am going to get so hyperactive in this next week, or maybe really depressed. Lets see where the scales tip.
Too much spare time is something that does not benefit me. I think, far too much already with little spare time, so with an extra 20 hours or so on my hands (16 hours training+transport time getting there and back, I can count!) I'm think I'm going to write, I might start writing a novel. (thanks to all the authors who came to visit Epsom Girls' Grammar School for the inspiration!)
Time management, is also a skill which I don't have. I get homework with deadlines set 4 weeks later, but I'll still be working the night before. It's bad. But the random stress benefits me in a way, I still manage to churn up reasonably good projects, reasonably...okay so they're crap. I could do so much better if I'd planned out everything in advanced, if I were organised.
I don't know.
I just gotta hope time is on my side.
We all have times where we say stuff we didn't really mean
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I just have more of these times than the average person!
★ tagboard ★
i think they call it freedom of speech
If I dwelled on the fact weirdness was a bad thing
I'd probably be dead by now.
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
designer DancingSheep
I'd probably be dead by now.
★ links ★
ctrl + left click
Eeiyn Natasha's Fantabulous Blog
My Miniscule Book Blog
Nicole's Spectacular Blog
Maxine's Magnificent Blog
Sapphire's Snaffalicious Blog
Sarah's So Awesome Blog
★ archives ★
watch me waste my life away
December 2010
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
March 2012
★ credits ★
designer DancingSheep
My life's goal
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★
Is to be spontaneous because that's the way I roll
★ SHOUTOUTS ★
even if I don't say ♥ that often
★ SAPPHIRE! ★
★ KENDALL! ★
★ MAXINE! ★
★ DANIELLE! ★
★ CHARLOTTE! ★
★ CAITLIN! ★
★ LAUREN! ★
★ ERIN! ★
★ EEIYN! ★
★ NICOLE! ★