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"You're crazy!"
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★ Visualisations. ★

Monday, August 1, 2011 ( 9:16 PM )

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't remember where I am when I open them again. That's how vividly I can visualise things...but I'm definately not using it to my advantage. Having a visual memory means that everything that happened in the day gets replayed in my head whether or not I like it. That's why when I mess up (which is often) it's so hard for me to get over it. It repeats over and over, for me to pick out my flaws and rip myself up over them. I also despise horror movies and such, because all the gory scenes stick in my head for MONTHS. I watched about 30 seconds worth of The Grudge and had to sleep with the light on for 6 weeks. Why? Because the picture was there waiting for me, all I have to do is press play, which happens to be automatic when I close my eyes.
I can conjure up almost any negative image, including those from descriptive novels, so those stick in my head for ages as well. I've tried, without success to visualise success, but it never works. Gym routine visualisation is just not for me, because I can only visualise myself doing it wrong and falling off in some awkward position. Not good.

Apparently when I was younger, I had a photographic memory, but how my parents figured that one out I will never understand. I certainly don't have that anymore (if I ever had it at all) but they say memory is like a muscle, so I'm probably just stiff from not using it enough, the right way.

All the visualising also means that if I think too much, I can completely lose myself in another world, even if my eyes are open, which is a little disturbing. Most people get pissed off because I won't respond at all when they're talking to me. It's weird. But I'm weird to so that probably explains it.
Flashbacks, visualisations & visions,
Hallucinations?
They all come so easily to me, sometimes I forget what's real and what's fantasy.
Who needs drugs? I'm already delusional.