My name is Alethea.
I am 14 years old
I have this delusional thing that my name is the best name in the world, but that's just my subconciousness trying to grasp some part of myself that is not self loathing.
I have almost non existent self esteem. Even though I play 3 instruments (well, lets just leave it at 3) and I am supposedly I am a gymnast (I think I am too fail to be under that title), I'm under the impression I am bad at everything. (Which I am!)
I have a very obsessive nature. I am also quite unpredictable and unreliable and I'm scared of being social.
On of my special talents is yodelling.
That's how weird I am of course.
I like talking using words with more that 3 syllables to make it sound as if I am speaking a language other than English, even though that's the only language I speak. I'm a disgrace to Asians apparently because I cannot speak the language in which my complexion screams out otherwise.
I am obsessed with big words and psychological disorders and paradoxes of all kinds.
I have survived through a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and numerous aftershocks, and been to 7 different schools in my life. (And 5 gym clubs and I don't even want to start counting the teachers.)
I fear I am a pessimist.
Sometimes I am a grammar freak too.
This blog is to help other understand what goes on in my head.
Good luck with that!
"I know!"
"Because you had a bad day, you're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around,"
Why the heck would you sing a sad song? I mean, how does that help?! Sad songs only help me dwell in my depressiveness, and crazy upbeat songs make me hyper.
I can listen to anything, I think I like most music, but sometimes I don't like the artist. I can respect the music, but not always the person who wrote it. Eugh.
I think I have a habit of copying the the way the singer who sings it too. I don't have my own style, I only imitate. It sucks. I should resign to eternal shutupification. But that would be impossible because I'm the most loquacious person some would claim they've ever met.
I am most honoured.
I'm still on a gym curfew.
I have a terrible way of organising my ideas, probably because they were never organised in the first place, so it makes it incredibly difficult for people to understand me when I open my mouth. When I took that personality test I posted before, there was this question "Do people have a hard time following your train of thought when you're talking?" (or something along those lines), I decided to ask the people sitting near by myself. They all answered quite promptly "YES!" (I know I mentioned this before but it fits into context here okay?)
I'm sorry!!! I can't put it together so you understand, only so I understand.
Sure, I have an endless bank of useless information as a brain, but the key to that sentence is the word useless. Unless I become a human random fact generator, I'm still probably never going to get anywhere in life.
Do you know I've read the dictionary?
(Bear in mind, reading the dictionary is different from memorising the dictionary, that I have not achieved yet, anyway, I was depressed when I wasn't allowed to go to camp, so while my peers were quad biking across northern Canterbury, I was reading the Oxford Edited New Zealand Pocket Dictionary.)
I can't not read, you know what I mean? When you see words (in English, or whatever languages you converse in/understand), it's impossible to go past them without reading them. I've always been fascinated with my lack of ability to convert the majority of Mandarin characters/random squiggles when I go to Malaysia. I'll just sit in the car and stare. I think it's rather to my advantage because I don't get car sick (not that I normally do), but doesn't reading in the car make you sick? Well if you can't read you can't get sick! Magic!
In year 7, I spent my summer holidays in the Borders (book shop) across the road and read 1/2 an hour every day, of Twilight. I had way too much spare time back then.
I have too much spare time now.
I just have more of these times than the average person!
I'd probably be dead by now.
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