Halfway

c r a Z Y

"You're crazy!"
"I know!"

★ Prolonged Obsessions and the Drunk Neighbours ★

Friday, October 7, 2011 ( 9:46 PM )

There are drunk people outside. I can hear their incoherent yelling and the triumphant yells celebrating the end of the term. My words are "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Enough said. Anyway, we all know about my obsessive rituals of scrutinizing books on psychological disorders. I'm back on eating disorders. Reading 'Brave Girl Eating' By Harriet Brown. The random part about this book is that the cover has an uncanny resemblance to Twilight (pale hands caressing an apple, although in this instance the apple is flawed and freckled and striped, but still blood red). And also the fact that I know someone called Harriet Brown. We used to be stalker buddies.
Okay, but that aside, the fact that I have been so engrossed in psychology for such a long period of time scares me. I even read 'The Idiot's Guide to Psychology' and found it interesting! Shouldn't alarm bells be sounding?

Holidays have commenced. But I think it will take me at least a week to recover from the turmoil of Term 3. And then after the holidays only exams and externals and 7 weeks of torture! And camp which is even more torturous! How I despise physical education.

I think the propinquity of year 11 isn't exactly sinking in. I can't quite decide whether it will mean more or less freedom. Subject wise, I'm pretty cool about science next year, it is something I enjoy thouroughly. Maths? Well it will depend. Economics should be okay, as long as I pass on that one. Not sure if I will even ever need to use that skill in my later life. I am regretting music as an option choice. First things first, I am absolutely rubbish at music. Certainly not capable of doing year 12 next year! But then again, I say I'm bad at everything so that isn't really an ideal way of putting it. I think I am most worried about English. The fact that I struggle with writing concise essays in limited periods of time will have to be helped next year. I struggle with the learning enviroment of my English class. There are times where it seems we are copying down pointless notes, and other times where we have discussions where I feel are unpointedly structured with favour being allocated towards the back of the class.

Did any of that just make sense? I don't think so.
Those drunk people out there are so irritating. I think in the future I will use alcohol only to drown my sorrows haha. I don't like socialising anyway. So parties with such refreshments offer no use to me.

Oh my gosh. Even I don't understand what I'm talking about.
Oh and one more thing.
The child birth video we were forced to watch has traumatised me to the point of no return. All thoughts of children have disappeared off my agenda for the rest of existence. My mother is crazy for having 5 of us. Like Freddie Mercury said "Sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all".

I'm going to bed before I can chuck anymore of my delusional thoughts here.