Halfway

c r a Z Y

"You're crazy!"
"I know!"

★ Up to now ★

Saturday, October 29, 2011 ( 9:54 PM )

Someone is having a party down the road. The bass from whatever random music they're playing is pulsating down our street. It's particularly irritating, so I am trying to balance it out with some soothing Gotye.

You know, before we moved to Auckland, my parents never used to drink. I mean, the occasional beer is excusable, but I'm a little concerned at the growing collecion of wine bottles sitting on our benchtop. I hope it is not a side effect of unnecessary stress. I used to be able to tell people that my parents didn't drink; I'd get delirious looks in response, but now that they do, I can picture the reaction 'She must do- to regain her sanity living with you!'

Anyway, haven't posted in one day, my thoughts have just kinda drifted in and out of nothingness. I have seen many things and acts of bitchiness and prejudice that I wish to shun out of my mind. I was making an honest effort to be happy, but I suppose sometimes it seems fate has other ideas (linking me to depressed people's websites). Perhaps the lack of exersise is a contributing factor, no gym, no kung fu, only one measly walk to the library. I'm a wreck.

Girls Only School is bad for my self esteem. Sometimes, I see perfection like it's in the school rules. I see stick thin-ness. Money flaunters. Sometimes, it bores me. Most of the time it only apears to bore me, I'm just trying to ignore the world so I pretennd things aren't happening they way they are, so I can paint them the way I wanted the colours to be.
This is probably because exams are in a week and I cant draw freakin' parabolas for my life. Parabola drawing will never be a talent I possess. Also, I'm going to fail English D: These aren't even life changin exams! HOW WILL I COPE WITH THE MEASLY NCEA SYSTEM?

Anyway...Nationals...for my gym buddies is in 4 days. I'm not going, thanks to my demented foot (which conviniently is healed now...suppose late is better than never). I feel pretty darn useless. As usual.

Oh well.

And one more thing, if you feel I am being bitchy, self centred or attention seeking in anyway, please just say it to my face? Please save me the paranoia and panic caused by your subtle mimicks. Thank you. Write me a clear concise hate email, cuber bully me, I don't care. Once the knowledge is in my hands, I will have a valid excuse for digging myself a deep well to jump into.
And don't lecture me. I don't need anymore lectures.

Thank you for your cooperation.