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ramblings of a teenage girl

New Years weather is destined to be shitty. Which completely ruins my plans for outdoors exercise. Despite my fat size, the wind outside is probably enough to blow me to a place far, far away. It's screaming at the windows and prying under the shutters and shaking the entire 3rd floor, so I think it's safer not to venture outside today.
It's supposed to rain too.
I'm scared the stormy conditions will blow the windows off from our bedroom, which are already shaking and pleading their fragile state.

Last night, was one of the worse nights ever. I didn't get to sleep until 3.00am, which then I woke up at 6.45am, then just lay in bed until 9.12am. I think it's because I watch too much X Factor, and my brain is overstimulated, and my body is under stimulated, a terrible, terrible combination for someone who has borderline ADHD like myself. My mom also decided she wanted us to call her at 11.00pm last night, so we were all worked up but midnight by her tangled requests and questions.

It's so stupid, once I get into bed, I immediately feel energised.
=.=

Sleep has failed me.

On another note, the short periods of sleep in which I am granted with have presented me with the most queer and eccentric dreams...everynight...without fail. And I can remember all of them. Last night, I dreamed that my maternal grandmother moved into a house with a long driveway (looked like an NZ house on the outside, but once you went inside you got a splitting view of the Singapore city line and an upper view of a swimming pool, from a condo? I don't remember climbing any stairs though) and invited us for babysitting sessions every Friday. In my dream, she was always cooking, and I was always babysitting, random kids I didn't even know (they were all Asian babies!) Then one day, I asked if I could take leave to go to a school concert, and she said yes, but then this concert was at one of my old school's halls (Westburn to be exact, that hall doesn't even exist anymore) and I brought my ukulele there, but forgot to bring it home. 5 hours after the concert (it was 15.00 on my watch, the concert finished at 10.00) my dad brought me back to the hall in our old red Honda Odyssey and when we stepped out onto the back of the hall we were suddenly on the back veranda of 9our house in Christchurch and there were 2 red ukuleles there...one was broken, and the other was intact, but not my own (it didn't have a dolphin on it!) My broken ukulele appeared to be made of cardboard, because it ripped?! My dad didn't notice, and picked up my ukulele and proceeded to give me a lecture about taking care of my belongings...and then I woke up.

Phew. That was long and boring. And meaningless.
The other night I dreamed I killed someone-when I asked my mum what it meant, she said it was because I was watching too much CSI (this ca't be true! I don't even watch CSI! I watch NCIS!)

Another weird thing, is that I can remember more than one of the dreams I had.
I think this is just because my brain has nothing else to focus on.
Goodness, my brain is even more stuffed up than thought previously possible.

I'm loving Gin Wigmore. And probably driving the neighbours insane with my tuneless holler.

It has been one week since gym ended, and I'm feeling like a fat slob. Technically, even if I go back, I won't be doing much anyway. Just the thought of going makes me feel accomplished haha. 2 more weeks of complete freedom!

Anyways, today, I finished the back of that folder I started yesterday (refer to yesterday's post if you want to look at the front and spine.) It was much harder to colour in than I thought it would be. I think it looks pretty good! Considering all I could find was A SUPER THICK CHISEL TIP PERMANENT MARKER!!! ARGH! And yes, that is twink on the outside, my twink/whiteout/liquid paper has been seriously abused this year for decorating novelty things.


Well, it did the job.

I definitely put more effort into decorating the outside of this folder than the work on the inside. At least it looks pretty (unlike me D:). I read somewhere that doing something creative everyday somehow provokes endorphin release and therefore...you feel happier. BUT the reference was quilting?! I don't think quilting would have made me feel happier.
We shall see where boredom leads me next.

Anyways, I didn't get to go for a run today, I didn't get to even leave the house. It has been warm, but super windy, and it's probably going to rain which makes me feel even more like a pessimistic, procrastinating lazy lump of no good who lives under the bed.

I have a better idea. I will walk to the library with my neuroscience what not. I will mug and memorise. I will walk back from the library.

BAM!

EXERCISE!

You know it's been a productive day, when your body actually recognises night time is when it's time to sleep.

It has not been a productive day.
I'M GOING ONTO THAT HYPER BEFORE BED STAGE RIGHT NOW!!!

Although I did do quite a bit more activity wise today, none of it was particularly physical, and I HAVE PUT ON ONE MORE KG!!! ARGH!!! I'M BACK TO WHERE I STARTED!!! 55KG!
Damn.
Must go for a run tomorrow.

Well, today, after my daily neuroscience, I decided that I was sick of the way I was studying (omg I'm studying?!) and so I decided to transfer all my work into a folder, rip out all the pages in the book and make them look as it they were refill (by punching holes in the respective places), put some nice clean refill into this bland old folder (why so much detail? I have no idea. But clean refill always motivates me) and place all my notes, homemade glosary book and given-by-school photocopied textbook into a more organised looking, ringbinder.

But you see, this ringbinder was pretty damn fugly, so I spruced it up a bit.



Boxing Fay, I always type Boxing Fay instead of Boxing Day, so much so that it has become a staple part of my vocabulary. Fay is actually an obsulete word for 'faith'. It can also refer to old English word for fairy (sprites or whatever mini mythical and magical beings you can think of) as well as referring to a type of joint. Phew.

Anyways, here are them peppermint creams I told you I assembled yesterday.

I actually made about 65 flowers and 4 Christmas trees (essentially 2 trays worth, and that little ball of leftover mix you get with every kind of confectionary that requires rolling out and cutting) but by the time I got the chance to take this photo I had accidentally eaten and given away too much to fill the tray nicely. So just ignore that little bit of bare area. The peppermint creams that used to occupy that space had a good life.

Well, today I have thought long and hard about my weight. I think, that if I work hard enough and stop fretting about eating, I might have a good chance of loosing/maintaining it all anyway because...I will be busy and active and that is good. I mean, if I'm under a lot of stress and I quit binge eating (the latter might be easier said than done) then, I'll probably be okay. Like those people with super stressful jobs, they're all skinny (unless they binge eat like moi) and so following their lifestyle will ensure me a healthy shape and (since I'm gonna give myself stress) a goal to get things done (and produce stress in the process, because obviously getting things done for me involves a heap of procrastination and all nighters).

I am so smart.

But I suppose it ain't gonna be all sunshine and butterflies, I think that
if I can keep up everything next year I'm going to be as good as my friends Eeiyn and Nicole.
Here's a comprehensive list of everything I have commited to next year:

School (well, this is compulsory I suppose) with Year 12 Maths and Year 12 Music
Horrible subjects I will never get through such as English and Economics
EXAMS THAT WILL COUNT! OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS!
The School Production (I'm beginning to wonder why I tried out in the first place)
Gym (Level 8, even though I'm crap)
Viola and playing in Festival Orchestra, whatever that is.
Grade 8 ABRSM Piano Exam
Brain Bee Neuroscience Thingie-ma-bobbie
Blogging
Gym Coaching (A Job! Fantabulous! Income!)
Kung Fu

Actually, laid out on the page like that it doesn't actually look so bad. But on a week to week basis I can see my routine already...I'm going to be a slave to routine (not that I wasn't already this year.)

I'm going to be an indoors hobbit, indoor sport, indoor lunchtimes spent mugging and blogging and trying to get things done while time is avaliable. Back to weight loss, this might mean I won't be able to eat during lunchtime, but I don't usually anyway if I'm inside, and I'm an eat-in-class champion anyway. New tactic - no full sit down at one time meals, just heaps and heapd of snacks I can shove in my mouth when the teacher isn't looking, and lots and lots of water to keep those snacks going. This, again, equates to - a faster metabolism and more weight lost! YEA!

I'm, so , retarded. It's like that's all I care about.

Or course I care about more important things! Like neuroscience!
Well, it's back to memorising the durations and chemical processes of action potentials for me, I hope y'all have a Happy Boxing F/Day!

So, it's Christmas.
I don't want to be cliche and gaily wish everybody a Merry Christmas, but
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

I don't actually enjoy the 'festive spirit'. There's nothing I'd like better than to sit at home and just do nothing rather than celebrate all the religious stuff. BUT I had to get up against my will and go to church in the morning (it starts at 10.00am, I wake up at 10.30am =.=) and Church is so...churchy and it was crowded and some random lady made us sit up the front because we were (mostly) kids (come on, I'm 15 next year =.=) and I just felt really uncomfortable. I hate the Christmas stereotypes...presents...trees....turkeys.

My usual Christmas is just an ordinary day, we don't do presents, or crazy dinners, it's just a normal day, as it is for all the other countries that don't celebrate Christmas, and all the poor people and malnourished people who can't afford or are not even priviledged enough to know what Christmas IS.
That's my rant for the day.

Yea. Anyways, moving away from that, I make peppermint creams today!
(And a picture will go on tomorrow because my sister refuses to help me find the camera.)
I'm quite proud of them. I'm no cooking guru, but these are pweettey...

We also went for a Christmas dinner with some of my parent's friends. (Uncle)Barry
forced us to watch the queen in the middle of Mr Bean's Holiday. To make things even more traditional, we had christmas crackers and were forced into public humiliation by being made to wear those little paper hat things and read out the corny jokes. On the bright side, it was actually a very nice meal with yummy gourmet potatoes and delictable corned beef. There were a million types of meat (ham, that corned beef I mentioned, 2 roast chickens, rabbit...) washed down with a few colouring and flavoiring laden cups of raspberry fizzy and sprite, and finished off with 2 and a half pieces of pavlova and alcohol soaked trifle (I'm going to sleep well tonight!)

In conclusion, I enjoyed the food, but hey, I live to eat (typical Singaporean attitude...food=life).

Tommorow, will be BOXING F/DAY and I am most looking forward to reduced to clear propoganda...I'm so frugal! Cheap deals excite me becasue I'm always broke. And I just loooooooooooove reduced to clear Christmas Junk.

Sad Life.
Well anyways,
one last time...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Yesterday was actually quite a productive day. I have discovered the wonders of audio books for studying, which means 2 of my 5 senses can now absorb information about neuroscience. I'm not sure where I can get one of those cool brain models you take apart and label, that would be studying through touch (I think?) I really don't fancy tasting or smelling a brain, though I have smelt brains before (and dissected them...FUN STUFF!) ad they don't smell particularly bad. This is why being a neurosurgeon is so much better than being cardiosurgeon :P

So, after a morning of unfruitful studying, my sister Tash and I went for a walk. From our house (Remuera) to Newmarket (where we stopped for ice creams, effectively restocking all our burned calories and ruining the purpose of the walk) and then through to Parnell Library, which for all you not familiar with Auckland geography is about 3 and a half kilometers, because I felt so fat, I wanted to carry on and walk down Nicole's street, through Newmarket park, along Shore Road, up Portland Road and then back to my house, which would have been an extra 4km, but instead, we went to the Domain/park/Museum, which was nearby.

We walked through gardens, and ancient paradises and I have to say I have developed quite a taste for gardens and scenery. (I never thought the day would come when I said this.)

Anyways, we also went to the museum (half an hour before closing time) and I LOVE MUSEUMS no matter how much they lack exhibitions. Museums fascinate me, the organisation, the darkness, the freaky glass eyes of stuff animals...(except mummy exhibitions- as in Egyptian mummys...they scare the heck out of me). My brother refused to venture into the museum because it was dark =.= In the end, we managed to see half of the museum, half of the first floor and the entire 2nd floor. There was a volcano exhibition (fitting for Auckland) and within it there was an earthquake stimulating ride which we found very entertaining...although we didn't have a chance to go and sit inside we're definately going to see if it's up to standard!

On the same subject, Christchurch had 4 big aftershocks yesterday...STAY STRONG PEOPLE! COME STAY WITH ME IN AUCKLAND IF YOU NEED!

Why are we talking about yesterday so much? Now we talk about TODAY.
Today, I played online anatomy games.
I did the excess of yesterday's dishes (back on the subject of yesterday, our mains got cut off becasue No. 11 was undergoing renovation. Stupid people didn't telel us so my sister was halfway through her shower when the water stopped hahaha).
And now I'm watching X Factor Auditions hahaha.

I really have nothing better to do. I'm just...not motivated enought to do anything. Sucks. But I guess that's the beauty of the holidays. Motivation to do nothing.

Oh and, Merry Christmas Eve everyone!
;P

(Guys, this is not meant to be an offensive or negative outlook on life post. Bear that in mind. I'm just bored and I just watched this cool video titled "25 Things I Hate. Since I don't vlog just get, I thought a written list would suffice.)

1. I hate people who use "Who do you think you are?" as a comeback. I think I'm me thank you very much.
2. I hate it when people on Youtube say "20 likes and..." because they actually can't think for themselves and they need the random people (mostly hobos) of youtube to vote them up.
3. I hate saying the word 'like' inbetween every word in a sentence (I'm not a hypocrite, I hate it when I say it too).
4. I hate it when people say "...and stuff"
5. I hate it when grammar is used incorrectly.
6. I hate the way I interact socially, and how it is based on quirky comebacks, foreign English words and sarcasm.
7. I hate social situations.
8. I hate people who automatically classify any piece of music with a violin (or any other string instrument other that guitar/ukulele) in it as 'classical'.
9. I hate that feeling you get when you die in a dream and it feels like your heart has just been shocked back into action when you hit the bed/floor/hell again.
10. I hate how characters in adult TV shows always have excessively active sex lives to ensure a sotyline and conflict is always present (which I hope are completely unrealistic).
11. I hate that northern hemisphereans don't understand that christmas functions just as normally without snow.
12. I hate it when people pinch small children (and even sometimes moderately big children)'s cheeks as a symbol of affection.
13. I hate it when people treat me like a child who has no opinion and no right to speak.
14. I hate certificates. They have no purpose.
15. I hate that models can have careers just posing and going for shoots. Even actors are better than models.
16. On the same subject, I hate that dumb people can get better jobs than smart people.
17. I hate marmite on toast. It is far too salty.
18. I hate nicknames that have no meaning.
19. I hate it when people flip their hair in an attempt to flirt with member of the opposite sex.
20. I hate being bored.

WHAT CAN I DO TO CONQUER THE BOREDOM?!

Today, my dear sister made us all traffic light popsicles with strawberry and apple and kiwi juice. She's such a kitchen prodigy, 3 years younger than me and already an aspiring house mom.

OMG I'M A CAMWHORE! I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

Anyways, nothing interesting is happening. No earthquakes, TV programmes or nothing. If it wasn't for Nicole, Eeiyn and my ukulele (not to mention my trusty lappy and internet connection) I'd be dead by now. Of boredom.

I asked my Dad if I could go to Newmarket and he said no because I could get kidnapped.
=.=
I feel so USELESS!!! I've taken up pacing. And book castle building. And tetris.
TETRIS I TELL YOU!

It's a wrap for the year, and just as well, because my body has already retreated into holiday mode and I really can't be bothered to fight the tiredness/soreness/pain :P
I'm sorry Rosy.
I'm so lazy.

BUT
If the weather is good tomorrow, I will be out and about (OUT OF MY HOUSE! AMAZINGNESS!) I will be at the beach, and making milkshakes on the veranda and going to the playground with my awesome siblings.

I've been watching this twins documentary, and it has tonnes of interesting things about genetics, neurology and PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS! This one twin, according to his mother, used to talk excessively in relationship to his/the other twin who couldn't get a word in edgewise...SO this sounds like me. I also have an extremely short attention span hahaha. I'm pretty sure I have ADHD, in primary school, it was suggested by my teacher that I took up gym to stop me being so hyper (I've told you this before and this clearly hasn't helped). Here's the thing, the subject came up at gym a couple of days ago, and I was told that to conquer the hyperness I needed to do more conditioning/get more fit? It was proabbly some sort of dry threat, as I fail to see how this would have any affect, but I do have to wonder, what would? This is going to be my subtle holiday mission (I've stopped saying holiday obsession, I overuse that phrase far too much).

Anyways, I have started making private vlogs, just because I can, and to flex my movie maker skills which have developed from fail to moderately worthy. Also, my mum is away now, so me and my sister Tash have been busy taking over the kitchen. I made an Oreo milkshake AND IT TASTED SO GOOD!!! Usually of course, I'm cooking illiterate, and I could probably burn water if I wasn't supervised.

POPTARTS ARE AWESOME!
Just saying.

So, this holiday thing has completely screwed up my sleeping pattern, I go to bed at 2.00am and wake up at 9.00am, which is pretty fun (I get the house to myself) and useless (unless I'm planning a trip to Perth or somewhere with a 3 hour time difference to NZ, forgive me if Perth isn't one of these places). So, right now, I'm sipping hot chocolate with a banana which is supposed to cure 'restless legs syndrome' whatever that is and a trusty laptop. Fun stuff.

Anyways, I actually broke my home hobbit status today and ventured out of the house, despite the disgusting cold and colder weather. I'm getting accustomed to Auckland weather, as I'M STARTING TO FEEL THE COLD!!! OH NO!!! WEAKNESS! Anyway, we went to Newmarket to do dress shopping, that's right DRESS SHOPPING! Not for me of course, but even so, it was the first time in my life I had gone dress shopping. I think I'm very good at critisicing (as I once read somewhere, you should always take some one with you shopping that will not hesitate to tell you your butt honestly looks big). So, here are some of the highlights of my criticism (and rarely, compliments too).

At a coffee coloured dress my Mum liked.
Me: "That dress looks like you ripped it out of a 1960s sepia photo!"
At an aquamarine maxi dress we found.
Me: "Ew. Blue's not your colour, you need red or gold, you know, Asian colours."
At a floral patterned cardigan.
Me: "No. You can't wear that. It looks like the place where the unicorns of irish folklore live."
At a green green dress we saw at Laura Ashley (I mean REALLY green).
Me: "I think they employed a leprechaun to design that."
At the majority of dresses made out of stretchy material.
Me: "WHY ARE ALL OF THESES DRESSES MADE OUT OF STRETCHY MATERIAL?!"
Mother: "Because it's cheap."
At any dress that made my mommy look old.
Me: "Aiyah! Why you want to look like an Ah Soh?"
After trying on about 20 dresses in Laura Ashley.
Me: "Right, pass that over to the reject pile!" (AKA me, I was the reject pile, me included.)
While my mummy was admiring a dress I picked for her.
Me: "See! I told you I knew what I was doing! It even makes your boobs look bigger!"

I don't think my mother will ever take me dress shopping again.
Good times hahaha.

My life, is so sad and dreary and meaningless. I have tidied and vacummed and recycled and dusted and tried so hard to make things organised (you should all know this is not one of my talents) and yet somehow, everything is still messy in our house. I'm a wreck. We're only one week into the holidays and I'm already like this. I have spent the whole day watcing Grey's Anatomy clips on Youtube. Is this holiday denial?

How can you be tired from doing nothing?!
I never thought I'd say this but I WANT to go back to school.
(And when school starts again I will say 'Argh I wish it was holidays'. Such is life.)

Right let's outline my day:

I woke up at 10.04am.
The sun was piercing it's sharp rays into my eyes, but it was SUNNY. OMG!
I drank one mug of Milo to the temperature of making your tongue furry if not consumed in a skilled manner, for breakfast.
I cleared the table.
I make 2 long and interesting playlists and burned 2 CDs to play in the car so I would no longer have to rely on the annoying and completely unreliable radio stations.
I picked up every damn scrap of paper off the floor and put it into the recycling.
I filed all my books from last year(s) and random important pieces of paper into my cupboard(s), which now look very tidy and organised.
I chucked all my sisters' stuff into their respective cupboards.
I vacuumed the living room, and the dining room, and the lobby/random room area.
My siblings all came home (half day, it was 12.45pm, don't worry it didn't take me 5 hours to do all of the above).
I ate lunch.
I brought the clothes in since it started pouring incomprehensably sudden rain.
I did the dishes for lunch and breakfast, at once.
I re-read Breaking Dawn.
I started watching Grey's Anatomy.
I continued watching Grey's Anatomy.
I snacked on cheese and crackers.
I drew a unicorn.
(Kidding!)
I opened my mother's Christmas prezzies from kindy (I always do, she finds no pleasure in such trivial affairs) and consumed her fudge and marshmallows, truffles and other sugar loaded goodies. )
Me: "Hmmm! These truffles smell like brandy!" *I take a massive bite*
Mother: "There's a lot of liquor in those!" *snatches them away from me and runs away*
I ate dinner.
I did dishes.

Now I'm here. How awesome is that?
Tomorrow, I MUST get out of the house. The weather is so crazy and random, and I have nothing to wear and nothing to do...
No wonder I feel useless.

Today has been one of those crazy windy and rainy days that make you want to just crawl under the bed and mope. Perfect for me haha. When I woke up and walked into the kitchen, the wind was screaming denial (something along the lines of NOOOOOOOOOOO) through the window, and the house was bare (fantastic!) and there were fresh cupcakes on the table. I wondered how life could get any better...of course it did when I made myself some hot chocolate, and settled to watch disney cartoons.

BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG!

I have acheived 2 things on the holiday list already:
1. Successfully grafittied my computer to a near unrecognisable level
2. Tidied my room

That's pretty good for holiday moping on a freezing breezing (okay, so more like gale force winds) day. I'm getting lazy. No Gym. No School. I'm like a lazy lump of uselessness. I don't even post consistently anymore! OKay, that's changin...from tomorrow.

Okay, as usual with my injuries, I never notice when they actually happen, and nor do I actually ever realise how bad it is, or even WHEN i got the injury?! So, right now, is time to reflect on where the mysterious bump/bruise/random swelling on my ankle(s) came from.

I really can't remember.

Now the thing is, one ankle is much more swollen than the other one, but the not so swollen one hurts more? SO maybe, they are both kinda swollen, but just one is more swollen...make sense? I didn't think so. Supidly, I decided to go to gym anyway (I wanted to give my coach this really cool sign I gave her that replaces the repitive corrections she gives us during training, you have to be a gymnast to get it though) and so I died and got spazzed at by my coach anyway, and now they are kinda more sore, but I think I should go tomorrow, because otherwise I'll be unable to burn off all the brownie I have consumed...

Oh what a sad life I live.

Anyways, I should not have to worry about my feeties while in bed, so we shall talk about more interesting subjects. I have not been very faithful to posting since mid November, because of...camp...exams...ukulele...and so I will stop procrastinating and proceed with the meaning of this post...even though there is no real meaning. I'm just gonna start recounting the intersting points of my day.

Well, today, I was awoken from an amazing dream at 8.00am to help the poor souls (everyone in my house who is not on holiday, or just in general, everyone) make lunch. So I was rather irritated, because I don;t habe nice dreams very often. And the weird thing, is that I clearly remeber 2 seperate dreams this night, 2 completely different dreams in the same night (I think the average person has 5-7 dreams a night though, random statistic of the day). The first one was odd, extremely odd. It involved someone I knew pouring chocolate milk down my school uniform. Weirdness. Moving on...the dream which I awoke from I've actually had before, with interchanging aspects. It always goes as if there is a crazy school trip where we have to go to an airport, but then we get lost in a nonescapable maze of corridors, gates and conveyor belts, and in the end we decide to camp out in the airport, which at that point we realise the airport is in fact our destination, and while settling down in the gift shop, the people around me are always the people that mean the most to me at the moment. Isn't that lovely and quaint?

No lovely in my life though. So this dream which should have ended peacefully was rudely interrupted by my Dad yelling at me to come down and make sushi. Splediforous. Absolutely Splendiforous. OKay, so afte hobbling down the stair and trying t coax this dream to stay in my mind so I could redream/finish after making the sushi (this made my communication with the busy people of the morning very difficult, and resulted in a lot of shouting demostrated by my Dad- just another of the people who regularly spaz at me).

So the dumb sushi sat ready made and I (again) hobbled back up the stairs in which I realised by ankles were hurting (you'd think I'd notice when I walked down the stairs, or even when I actually hurt them, but obviously not). THe sleep I got after that was so awesome :)

Back awake after 20 minutes, I went down and consumed more brownie than can ever be good for you (is brownie EVER good?) and then proceeded to finish one of my mother's adult novels (which most of the time, are not very adult at all, and in fact incredibly intriguing). My next task, was to find a physio or osteopath or chiropractor for my mother, who as we should all know, is experiencing extreme back problems (apparently due to me) because she fell down the stairs when she got up early to help me for camp. Anyways, after calling every physio within a 10km radius of our house and every chiropractor and osteopath in the yellow pages I think I would make a very successful telemarketer.

My dad always gets me to make phonecalls for him, because I sound kiwi hahaha whatever that means.

So after I finally located a close(ish) chiropractor with a reasonable surcharge after covered by ACC, my Mum rings and says she's found and made her own appointment.
=.=
^My face

Naturally, I gave up and resigned to Youtube.
What an awesomely boring day.

So...I have had a very productive morning on my first day of nothingness in this summer holiday (had gym yesterday, so it's not counted). I ate breakfast, I did dishes, I studied neuroscience. I have also eaten my fair share of calories for the day, as in...3 (bite sized) brownies and 2 gigantor pieces of kaya toast, which is why now at 12.30 I am unable to fit lunch down my throat.

ANyways, the holidays have so far had mostly happy vibes, because I'm doing a good job in keeping out the unhappy ones...and it's sunny and windy and I REALLY FEEL LIKE GOING TO A PLAYGROUND EVEN THOUGH MY PARENTS WOULD NOT ALLOW IT. I'm destined to be stuck at home for most of summer because:
A. My parents are control freaks
B. They won't let me out of the house in the fear I will be assaulted
C. My mother is leaving us, so Dad will be a single parent for a while (Relax! They aren't divorcing! Mother is just heading overseas, and I'm hoping she'll take me!)
D. Rellies are coming over from foreign countries
E. I have gym

What a boring list of excuses.

Anyways, despite the difficulties I face in getting out of the house, there are many things I want to accomplish in the next 2 months. These are...

1. decorate a pair of shoes...as in graffiti them!
2. make a stopmotion video
3. learn the pikachu song
4. decorate my laptop...more grafitti!
5. learn to meditate using taoist meditational techniques
6. go to the playground!
7. cartwheel on the beach
8. go busking
9. write a song in a leafy paradise
10. go to the skytower
11. catch the train
12. learn to draw a unicorn
13. practise viola/violin/piano/ukulele
14. have a life! meet up with Nicole and even POSSIBLY Eeiyn
15. regardless of whether I meet my penfriend or not, I need to buy her some hokey pokey ice-cream and L&P, and deliver them to Nicole, who will feed them to her hahaha
16. paint/colour in my handguards purple
17. loose weight
18. make more covers
19. try to keep my room looking less like a biohazard for at least 1 week!
20. make/write long bble length christmas cards and make the most random christmas prezzies ever!

I'm bored already.

Finally! After a boring and tedious long prizegiving as well 2 hours of window shopping (and free food!) after that in the searing sunlight of summer (dragged along by Ella and Hanbe who is more dangerous than I though she was...) and a million assignments incomplete...

I'm finally home.

FREE!

First things first, my report was disgustingly bullshit ridden, I love it. Each one of my subjects has a delightfully contradicting comment to the subject next to it, and the comment made by my Dean clearly shows she knows nothing about me. Well, I suppose you can't really know 200 different girls individually. She said I needed a study plan (BHAHAHAHA IN YOUR DREAMS MISS!) to excel better than I did already? Uh, okay, what the heck is that implying your highness? Because really if you realised the full extent of my extra curricular activities you'd know that I am not only doing better than most people (so modest I am) but juggling a bunch of other things as well, just because I'm not representing the darn school, might be because my foot was broken this year? Maybe I haven't even found any music teachers this year because of the move? Have some compassion woman. I hope my dean changes next year. I strongly dislike the way my current dean treats me, I feel like a 6 year old learning how to spell difficulty, without success, and she's the teacher getting frustrated and trying to hide it behind a plastic smile. Or she could be a dentist. Dentists have permanent plastic smiles, from too much botox and mouth surgery. Well it's too late now I guess.

Anyway, prizegiving, well I got some cheesy award for 'Distinction' in mathematics. SO basically I ended up with a a piece of dead tree with a photocopied signature (I know it was photocopied, despite their best efforts to print the signatures so they looked handwritten, the disguise did not hold up when we compared our cheesy certificates, as they were all the same) and my name on it in sparkly gold CD marker saying I was good at maths. Celebrations.

OKay, so I suppose I could definately be more grateful, but I think that this 'celebration of achievement' is blown up a little too much. I'm glad it was over. I almost died sitting through a 1 hour and a half prizegiving ceremony? How sad is that? I really can't concentrate haha.

Right now, I just want to forget about his year. It's been a terrible year haha.
KIDDING!
But I am glad school's out, because I need to start afresh, not half way through the year to function to my best.
That rhymes!
(HANBE! I WILL WRITE ABOUT YOUR CUNNING EVIL SCHEMES NEXT!)

One more week until freedom is established! And I CAN'T WAIT!
I have lost count of how many times I have reinforced that fact.

Anyways, had gym prizegiving/display today, and yes, I did go despite the long ranting in the last post. And, I think that some things, will never be right in our world, that no matter how much you fight or open your mouth, it's not gonna be who you are, or what you can do, it is simply who you know and how people know you.
In other words, I'm doomed.

(I'm in a very listy sort of mood. Must be because of Christmas, gullible children around the world are writing their wishes to Santa. IN long listy rants. It is rubbing onto me.)
THEREFORE...
Here is everything I didn't like:
1. I didn't like the commentator. I had no idea who he was, but I didn't like him. I hate biased commentators, who in fact have no idea what they're talking about. And also, I didn't like his haircut. Or his shirt. And his voice >.<
2. I also have a new found dislike to WHO EVER WROTE HIS COMMENTARY. THEY GOT IT ALL WRONG!
3. I didn't like the commentary given to the IDPs. Because it was painted with rainbows and unicorns and made our commentary seem painfully inadequate.
4. I really really STRONGLY DISLIKE the people who wrote that damn commentary about us. Obviously they don't know anything. And if they couldn't, paint our little blurb with sunshine and leprechauns, then they could have been honest. Instead, everyone in the gym got a bloody fake impression of us (I don't care about them IDPs, they are all too perfect anyway). Fuck it. FUCK THAT SHIT!
5. Our costumes failed. I'm sorry, but they did. I really did feel like a construction worker in my flouro yellow vest. Meh. I did my best to be happy (I think I over did it, because I did go a little high in the process, but no body seemed to notice, so my acting must be getting better!)
6. WHY WERE THERE SO MANY PHOTOGRAPHERS?! OMG MY PICTURE WILL BE ON THERE!!! ARGH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
7. THE PHOTOGRAPHERS MAY NOT HAVE BEEN PHOTOGRAPHERS AT ALL!!! THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN VIDEOING!!! OH MY GOD! MY UNCO DANCING AND TUMBLING WILL BE CAPTURED FOREVER!!!
8. Phil Goff was there. I mean, really? WHY WAS PHIL GOFF THERE??? (And if you are unfamiliar with New Zealand politics, PHIL GOFF JUST LOST THE RECENT ELECTION AS WELL AS HIS POSITION AS LEADER OF THE MAJORING LEFT PARTY.) I suppose he is the representative for Mt Roskill though (conveniently, this is where the gym is located).
9. I didn't understand all the jibber jabber in between the countless, pointless displays that the gym hosted, when the real prizegiving was at the end?
10. Why were there recreation kids doing display when they weren't there to get awards? Why make them wait?
11. WHY WAS I THE RECIPIENT OF A COACHING THANK YOU PRIZE/WARD THING?! WHY?! I haven't even coached for a full term yet!

I'm bored with ranting. I like listing though, it's a fun way to make a point.
There's still a whole lot of things I didn;t like though. AH well. it is over now.
Nothing more can be done/said.

And it is who you know right?
Screw it all.

Because I'm skilled like that, today I am *cough* sick *cough*. Which I shouldn't probably be advertising here. But it is really fun to sit around the whole day with the realisation that I PRACTICALLY HAVE NOTHING INTERESTING TO DO FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL TERM! Which is one week today, and one English presentation and one social studies presentation and 2 prize givings and a bunch or miscellaneous crap that I am going to try and desperately avoid. So basically, I'm living my Summer/Christmas Holidays in advance. Yay!

Today, I have...
-Spent some time at a fancy cafe.
-Eaten more ice-cream than is considered healthy.
-Abused Youtube.
-Deafened my father and tired out my ukulele.
-Finished 3 novels cover to cover.
-Learnt to appreciate Nancy Drew.
-Tried (and failed) to practise the dance for our display.

The display (and gym prize giving) is THIS SUNDAY and I am going to look like a complete idiot. I will now try an refrain myself from using 4 letter expletives in the next sentence(s) and points as I insult the whole task of prize giving and displays.

Reasons I don't want to go to the display/prize giving thing:
A. I do not want to look like a clown, plastered in make-up with limp dead looking hair from an effing straightener.
B. I do not want to wear a fluorescent and bright coloured top.
C. I do not want to receive a prize, because if I do it will no doubt be some cheesy made up one to make everyone feel as if they are wanted/equal and therefore the sense of achievement disintegrates because the ACHIEVEMENT IS NOT F******* REAL.
D. I do not want to do the display because...I can't dance to save myself.
E. I look fat among everybody else.
F. I don't want to go to gym on a freakin' Sunday.
G. I happen to be riding the crimson wave on that EXACT DAY.
H. My MOTHER WILL BE WATCHING AND CRITICISING. SHE WILL COMPLAIN!
I. I might have to help with the rec/Gym For All kids wearing some ridiculous costume.
J. I have to PAY for my costume, and actually BUY something for the occasion.
K. IT'S GONNA BE CROWDED WITH GYM PARENTS! EW GYM PARENTS!!!
L. The IDPs are gonna be bitchy. I can FEEL IT.
M. The IDPs will be CHALLENGING! BECKONING WITH THEIR SICKLY SMILES!
N. I can't be bothered. Isn't that a good reason?

And here are the reasons I do want to go:
A. It will be the last time ever (probably) I work with Lauren, before she fully converts into a hardcore, crazy dedicated gymnast who will overlook all of us heavily laden with criticism and without effort. Like the rest of them.
B. Everybody in our group put tonnes of effort into it, and I suppose I don't really want to ruin it...

But then again, who cares?
Anyways, you can tell I'm pissed, and it is because of point G of the first list.
Life sucks.

Well, as I was saying before my huge rant about the display, I had quite a bit of spare time on my hands today, and I spent the majority of the day along the posh outskirts of the Remuera Shops. Whilst I was walking along this sophisticated street in my hand-me-down khaki pants, tack t-shirt and rock and roll hoodie, I had an epiphany. Or more like a sudden realisation/philosophical moment where something clear and logical in life is put into a pure and concise sentence. Naturally, it was a self centred thought hahaha.

Anyways, I realised that I don't care so much about the way I present myself that I care about not caring. To the point of obsessiveness. But what the heck, everything I do is borderline (and in most cases, over the line, very clearly) obsessive. SO this explains why I very much so do not want to wear something presentable for the display, because I don't want to look proper. I love theories :P

I think I am going to quit gym. Because, as such...
A. I am no good at it.
B. My parents complain about money every stinking day.
C. I don't wanna be short the whole of my life.
D. I'm a bad influence there.
E. I'm too fat.
F. I'm too old.
G. No one's going to stop me (Lauren, you no longer have authority to slap me if I leave, because it will not affect you in any way, so you keep working your butt off and do well in Hawaii!)
H. It's a free country.

I'm in such a listing mood.
I'm also very tired.
And I feel like I could go on and on.

But ONE LAST THING...
Apparently my sleep activities are getting out of control. It isn't just conversations with myself out loud now, it's not just sitting up and talking to an imaginary person, it's not even rolling off the bed and getting up myself with no recall whatsoever. I FREAKING SING AND SWEAR AND THRASH AROUND LIKE I'M HAVING A SEIZURE OR SOMETHING according to the in depth descriptions given from my sisters (who all share the same room with me). So now I know why I wake up tired.

Sleep, you fail me.
:(

For Dani, who has been pestering me for a desperately long time to post the lyrics to various songs I made up at random, and ROSY who is yearning (I KNOW SHE IS) to find out about these songs in which she is featured in. Also special credits to Katelyn who I know likes de supermarket song and Maria for doing fantastic vocals when I was experimenting and all the cooly cool people at gym and in MUX for doing such a great job at exams!

Phew that was a long sentence.

IT IS OFFICIALLY LEGIT FOR ME TO SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS NOW!!!
Anyways...here are the lyrics.
(The first song will be understood by only those who are GYMNASTS, the last song will be understood by those in my gym group and the second song will be to anybody who does grocery shopping in New Zealand!)

THE BAR SONG- to the melody and accompaniment of PAPPARAZZI by Lady gaga
(I'll record it when my voice gets better!)

Put on your guards,
Yea, put them on fast,
Get right on the bar,
Or your coach will get angus, and kick you out.
Eye rolling and ugly pout.
Start on routines,
And 5 sets of kips,
I know there's no chalk,
But don't you complain or we'll get told off,
For standing 'round and slacking off,
Not that it would work.

Hurry up and chalk up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled, at, yelled by Rosy.
Hurry up and shut up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled at, yelled by Rosy.
Don't you dare complain,
That your hands are too ripped or sore or pained.
Hurry up and chalk up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled, at, yelled by Rosy.

Move on to skills,
Forget about drills,
Just get on the bar,
And do it like you saw it on TV,
Make her clap her hands in glee.
Giants are hard,
Yea, push on the bar,
Cast into the air,
And it feels like your flying, but don't let go,
Tap right on and point your toes,
'Cos otherwise you'll die!

Hurry up and chalk up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled, at, yelled by Rosy.
Hurry up and shut up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled at, yelled by Rosy.
Don't you dare complain,
That your hands are too ripped or sore or pained.
Hurry up and chalk up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled, at, yelled by Rosy.

Coaches curse, it works when they turn away.
Fall on you arse, when they are wa-atching.
Bar's fault, it's too slippery.
You try to tell them but they just don't care!

Hurry up and chalk up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled, at, yelled by Rosy.
Hurry up and shut up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled at, yelled by Rosy.
Don't you dare complain,
That your hands are too ripped or sore or pained.
Hurry up and chalk up,
Have another go or you'll be
Yelled, at, yelled by Rosy.

The Supermarket Song

I walk in through the automatic doors and glance at my reflection,
Grab a trolley from the trundler stand and take a look at the vege selection.
There's brocolli and spinach too and the carrots are on special,
If I spend enough, I'll get a voucher whoo! and save 4 cents on petrol!

Groceries, Groceries, Groceries!
They're the chore that we dread all week,
When we see the ad on TV,
We know the specials are at their peak!
Even if we have to pay for our plastic bags,
Or wait centuries for the checkout,
If there's ever nothing in the pantry,
There's only ONe place we'd come about...

Feel the cool air near the milk and cheese and breathe in the smell of the pastries,
Chuck a loaf of bread with some yogurt in and anything else that looks tasty,
Looking out for all the neon labels that say something is cheaper than normal,
Get the free range chicken and not the other 'cos it might have extra hormones.

Groceries, Groceries, Groceries!
They're the chore that we dread all week,
When we see the ad on TV,
We know the specials are at their peak!
Even if we have to pay for our plastic bags,
Or wait centuries for the checkout,If there's ever nothing in the pantry,
There's only ONe place we'd come about...

Whether it's Pak 'n' Save or Countdown,
Supermarkets are for shopping around,
Looking for the lowest prices,
Walking down the aisles...

Groceries, Groceries, Groceries!
They're the chore that we dread all week,
When we see the ad on TV,We know the specials are at their peak!
Even if we have to pay for our plastic bags,
Or wait centuries for the checkout,If there's ever nothing in the pantry,
There's only ONe place we'd come about...

For our groceries..Yea Yea Groceries!

Rosy's Song (I HAVE FAR TOO MUCH SPARE TIME!)
[Oh, and this is my gym coach by the way, Just sayin']

She has long definitions for what we have one word for,
She calls it banana hold, and we call it long front support.
Her name is spelt like the adjective,
She asks us 'ARE YOU HAPPY?', like she asks preschool kids.

But that's okay,
She's Rosy,
But she's cool cos she lets us play the music we wanna play.
We laugh at what she says,
And the gum she chews all day,
She's Rosy,
Awesome in her own way.

She gets excited when her test results come in the mail,
When she tries to be mean and demanding, it's a fail.
She's always hungry 'cos she's been at the gym since three,
And she has to coach us first before she can get something to eat.

But that's okay,
She's Rosy,
Different in her own way.
We laugh at what she says,
And the gum she chews all day,
But she's cool cos she lets us play the music we wanna play.
She's Rosy,
Awesome in her own way.

If you have quesitons or queries, or you want the chords, or you want a video of me singing it then POST IT IN THE CBOX!
:)

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