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"You're crazy!"
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★ Summer Holidays IN ADVANCE & A LOOOOONG RANT ★

Friday, December 2, 2011 ( 1:59 PM )

Because I'm skilled like that, today I am *cough* sick *cough*. Which I shouldn't probably be advertising here. But it is really fun to sit around the whole day with the realisation that I PRACTICALLY HAVE NOTHING INTERESTING TO DO FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL TERM! Which is one week today, and one English presentation and one social studies presentation and 2 prize givings and a bunch or miscellaneous crap that I am going to try and desperately avoid. So basically, I'm living my Summer/Christmas Holidays in advance. Yay!

Today, I have...
-Spent some time at a fancy cafe.
-Eaten more ice-cream than is considered healthy.
-Abused Youtube.
-Deafened my father and tired out my ukulele.
-Finished 3 novels cover to cover.
-Learnt to appreciate Nancy Drew.
-Tried (and failed) to practise the dance for our display.

The display (and gym prize giving) is THIS SUNDAY and I am going to look like a complete idiot. I will now try an refrain myself from using 4 letter expletives in the next sentence(s) and points as I insult the whole task of prize giving and displays.

Reasons I don't want to go to the display/prize giving thing:
A. I do not want to look like a clown, plastered in make-up with limp dead looking hair from an effing straightener.
B. I do not want to wear a fluorescent and bright coloured top.
C. I do not want to receive a prize, because if I do it will no doubt be some cheesy made up one to make everyone feel as if they are wanted/equal and therefore the sense of achievement disintegrates because the ACHIEVEMENT IS NOT F******* REAL.
D. I do not want to do the display because...I can't dance to save myself.
E. I look fat among everybody else.
F. I don't want to go to gym on a freakin' Sunday.
G. I happen to be riding the crimson wave on that EXACT DAY.
H. My MOTHER WILL BE WATCHING AND CRITICISING. SHE WILL COMPLAIN!
I. I might have to help with the rec/Gym For All kids wearing some ridiculous costume.
J. I have to PAY for my costume, and actually BUY something for the occasion.
K. IT'S GONNA BE CROWDED WITH GYM PARENTS! EW GYM PARENTS!!!
L. The IDPs are gonna be bitchy. I can FEEL IT.
M. The IDPs will be CHALLENGING! BECKONING WITH THEIR SICKLY SMILES!
N. I can't be bothered. Isn't that a good reason?

And here are the reasons I do want to go:
A. It will be the last time ever (probably) I work with Lauren, before she fully converts into a hardcore, crazy dedicated gymnast who will overlook all of us heavily laden with criticism and without effort. Like the rest of them.
B. Everybody in our group put tonnes of effort into it, and I suppose I don't really want to ruin it...

But then again, who cares?
Anyways, you can tell I'm pissed, and it is because of point G of the first list.
Life sucks.

Well, as I was saying before my huge rant about the display, I had quite a bit of spare time on my hands today, and I spent the majority of the day along the posh outskirts of the Remuera Shops. Whilst I was walking along this sophisticated street in my hand-me-down khaki pants, tack t-shirt and rock and roll hoodie, I had an epiphany. Or more like a sudden realisation/philosophical moment where something clear and logical in life is put into a pure and concise sentence. Naturally, it was a self centred thought hahaha.

Anyways, I realised that I don't care so much about the way I present myself that I care about not caring. To the point of obsessiveness. But what the heck, everything I do is borderline (and in most cases, over the line, very clearly) obsessive. SO this explains why I very much so do not want to wear something presentable for the display, because I don't want to look proper. I love theories :P

I think I am going to quit gym. Because, as such...
A. I am no good at it.
B. My parents complain about money every stinking day.
C. I don't wanna be short the whole of my life.
D. I'm a bad influence there.
E. I'm too fat.
F. I'm too old.
G. No one's going to stop me (Lauren, you no longer have authority to slap me if I leave, because it will not affect you in any way, so you keep working your butt off and do well in Hawaii!)
H. It's a free country.

I'm in such a listing mood.
I'm also very tired.
And I feel like I could go on and on.

But ONE LAST THING...
Apparently my sleep activities are getting out of control. It isn't just conversations with myself out loud now, it's not just sitting up and talking to an imaginary person, it's not even rolling off the bed and getting up myself with no recall whatsoever. I FREAKING SING AND SWEAR AND THRASH AROUND LIKE I'M HAVING A SEIZURE OR SOMETHING according to the in depth descriptions given from my sisters (who all share the same room with me). So now I know why I wake up tired.

Sleep, you fail me.
:(